This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
angeldictator: Remember that episode of Spongebob, where Spongebob and Mr. Krabs thought they killed the health inspector, but instead of calling the police, they taught children it’s okay to just bury the body instead.
freakvevo: *gets my nipples pierced at Claire’s*
bacconwizard: slenclerman: Spaghettihos u rope
groovymuttations: you could hit me with a car and i’d still say sorry
im-a-scottaholic: im-a-scottaholic: did you hear about the dyslexic satanist he sold his soul to santa guys come on this is quality stuff
ohdickins: littl-ebird: laviesanspeur: lightly-living: iam-livingdeadgirl: nevvzealand: one time when i was younger i had some of that no tears shampoo and i wanted to see if it was legit so when i was in the shower i squirted it into my eye and i think i went blind for like three days i think you may be a bit retarded because no tears meant like no tears in your hair; no tangles…. ...
zourrifying: reason to not become an adult you can’t use the ‘my mum said i can’t go’ excuse to blow someone off
cokeflow: my sense of humor is almost as dry as my love life
bekn: in my family i’m the ‘computer whiz’ cause i understand that when u open a new window the previous one isn’t gone
malijuanastyles: malijuanastyles: I think it’s lovely how you can sit in a classroom and visualize having sex with someone and nobody will notice at all do you know how many angry boys have messaged me about boners because of this post
moondoggiestyle: at my 7th grade parent teacher conference, my english teacher was telling my mom how insightful my poem was about ‘my evil twin’ and how fascinating it was that at my age i could recognize the dark parts of myself but i was just talking about my twin brother he was such a dick
im trying not to judge books by their covers but
when I was like 6 i was at church with my family and I asked my mom how much longer until it was over and she said 15 minutes so I counted to 60 fifteen times and it still wasn’t over and that’s why I don’t believe in god
I spend 800% of my life exaggerating
dirks: dirks: dirks: I’m gonna cover my entire head with lotion that was a bad idea
when you hear everyone flipping the test page over but you’re still on question 2
mishaoverlord: pretzelcoatlus: rakaakakka-fili-kili-bowtie: danyul-and-filup: princess-hardy: what if we are reincarnated when we die and when we’re babies we still remember who we used to be and that’s why we cry so much as babies, because of how our old lives are gone ..and the older we get we start to forget who we used to be in a previous life. well fuck #And the calm and quiet...
at-boundary-conditions: what if humans have cheat codes like if you jump 14 times and then punch + kick ok awesome now i can walk on water and do calculus
ohioisonfiire: I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months, lol
valentinostclaire: Why does toilet paper NEED a commercial? Who is not buying toilet paper?
kenfucky: opening the fridge for the first time after someone went grocery shopping
year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
foreveralone-lyguy: troix: foreveralone-lyguy: internetexplorers: change the world today by doing a thing How much thing? like 8 thing That’s too much thing
they-call-me-wonder-woman: h0odrich: It’s mad depressing when u eat the last piece of candy but you didn’t look at the bag and realize it was the last one so you could truly appreciate it for what it was worth This speaks to me on a deep emotional level.
bedquest: I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWn mouth softly because i like you